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Read. Write. Grow.

Ok. Seriously folks. Is anyone else super tired of the “find your passion” and “follow your dream” crapola?! Does anyone else feel like a big fraud in life because you don’t have a “passion” (except for maybe tacos… people seem pretty pumped about tacos nowadays)? Is your job good enough, it pays the bills, it’s fine? Are you perfectly content with your life – going to work, spending time with loved ones, binging on a TV series, and maybe reading a good article or book from time to time? You don’t have a fire in your belly and you are ok with that – it sounds like indigestion and very uncomfortable, thank you very much. You’re GOOD!

 

FIND YOUR PASSION! but #SOBLESSED. Practice GRATITUDE, but BE BETTER. Be HAPPY but want MORE happiness while being HUMBLE. Be satisfied, but DREAM BIG!

I’m exhausted.

How thrilled was I when I stumbled upon this TedTalk – Stop searching for your passion. Someone else feels like me! So yeah – watch Terri and then we’ll chat more.

 

 

Terri at one point in her talk says “Passion is elitist”; I love her for that – #firstworldproblems. Many are living in survival mode, it is the best they can do. They are working, keeping a roof over their heads, food on their tables and are loving their families and themselves as best they can (check out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs below). Pursuing passion and dreams is a privilege and not a necessity for a perfectly fine life. So stop with the pressure y’all, to dream BIG! Maybe we can dream small and be perfectly fulfilled.

AMIRIGHT?

Maslow-hierarchy

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Terri uses the example of a window cleaner, assuming he may not have a passion for clean windows. But what if he feels a deep feeling of accomplishment when he steps back and admires his work? It may not be a fire in his belly, but a nice warm glow sounds lovely to me. And prestige? He may have awesome relationships and a great reputation with shop owners in the neighbourhood. Mr Glass Cleaner may not be rich and famous, but he may be fulfilled.

Meaningful Work

If you have been reading my blog since the beginning, you may know I’ve been on a search for “meaningful work”. While staying home, raising my daughter, I also wanted to dabble in a “passion”. The question was when is enough enough? I’m raising my daughter, reading/learning/blogging, trying to paint regularly, and volunteering with the Roots of Empathy program. I’m busy!!!

My Dream

JW and I sat down and did a business plan exploring my “dream?” of having my own private practice offering wellness coaching and workshops. Guess what? It’s a LOT of work for VERY little $$$$. I would be distracted from my daughter, my husband and my creative outlets. I would have to turn down family trips to pursue my “passion” for helping others. It was a HUGE wakeup call.

#livingmydream

For the last ten years, my DREAM was to find love, a life partner, and have a BABY! My dream wasn’t to have a private practice. What was I thinking??? Terri was right. I was scared people may not think I’m interesting. Even more so, I was terrified that people would think I lacked ambition.

THIS is enough (for now)

That’s just bullcrap. I don’t need to light myself on fire with passion to prove anything to anyone, that’s downright dangerous. As of today, I’ve FOUND MY PASSION. It’s warm and cozy. I’m gonna sit back, put my feet up, and ENJOY IT!

IMG_6203

Are you already living YOUR dream?
What makes YOU warm and fuzzy with “passion”?

Until next time,
Read, Write, Grow.
Amanda

20 thoughts on “Find your “Passion”? Oh, F&CK @FF.

  1. Lisa says:

    Best blog yet Amanda you’ve hit the nail on the head…..i love your blogs…..keep on doing what your doing….you got this 😘

    1. Thank you SO much, Lisa! I really loved writing this post… and I feel people are really feelin’ it! xoxo

  2. Joy potter says:

    Well said. I decided to stay home 21 years ago to raise my beautiful daughter. With that came critics on both sides. It was hard as a career women to come to terms with both sides. My husband was a military man and with that comes many changes. I was blessed to have his support to see what was important to our family which was staying home. One of the hardest jobs. So for that time my passion was my daughter and husband. Now 21 years later my husband is retired,my daughter well on her way and myself back to my career. Which I hope to retire soon. So the saying you can’t have it all is wrong. You can have all your heart desires with hard work.

    1. Thanks for reading, Joy. I guess the struggle is figuring out what one’s heart truly desires. That’s the biggest step, the hard work is maybe the “easiest” part! Good for you for always pursuing what was best for YOU and your family. xo

  3. Jeannie J says:

    I have no words Amanda. This post… excellent, spot on.

    1. Thank you, Jeannie! I’m so glad it resonated with you. xo

  4. scar says:

    Yes! I found this quote in a book a while ago (Silence is Goldfish by Annabel Pitcher) and it summed up so many of my own thoughts about this:

    “Like last week [at school], there was a talk by some guy who works behind the scenes for Formula One. I’m not into cars but his job was objectively impressive…

    They think it’s what we need to hear, but it’s the opposite. Inviting glamorous people into college, asking them to parade their glamorous lives on stage, getting them to inspire us with their message that anything is possible if only we believe. Dream. Reach for the stars. Well, no thanks. That’s not for me. I’m not going to get there, and neither are most people that I know, and that’s fine by me. It really is. When did it stop being fine for everyone else? The normal stuff. Sunday roasts and, I don’t know, taking a walk in the park and listening to music and working in an ordinary job for an ordinary wage that will allow you to maybe go on holiday once a year, and really look forward to it too because you’re not a greedy bastard wanting more, more, more, all the time. That’s who should be doing a talk at college. Seriously. Show me someone happy with a life like that, because it’s enough. It should be enough. All that other stuff is meaningless.”

    I say this as someone who quit a job she hated to follow a path she loved. I’m glad I did it, but I *hate* the way things like this are put forward as the be all and end all. As if you can just achieve a dream and then you’ll be happy forever. There’s always going to be bad shit in life, and most of us have to muddle through as best we can, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being satisfied with what you’ve got. I follow quite a few blogs for self-employed people because they have useful tips, but so many of them seem to be SO DESPERATELY HAPPY that it almost seems like there’s something wrong with them…

    Glad I found your blog! (Damn Girl, Get Your Shit Together sent me here) 🙂

    1. Oh man. YEEEES! Exactly! This quote is aaaaaamazing!
      I’m so glad you tracked me down through DGGYT. Isn’t she just the best???
      I feel like people that are yelling from the rooftops about how “happy” they are… aren’t?
      Maybe that’s just the pessimist in me. LOL

      1. scar says:

        Yes she’s brilliant! And I completely agree re. the happiness thing – there’s no problem with being happy, but I think there’s a *big* problem with presenting an unrealistic expectation of lifestyles. It probably contributes to people ultimately becoming much less happy because they think they’re not living up to something they should be experiencing.

  5. scar says:

    P.S. This post of mine might make you laugh, it’s a realistic look at what can actually happen when you “follow your dreams”: https://jeviscachee.com/2016/03/29/i-quit-a-well-paid-job-to-follow-my-passion-and-uh-lost-everything/

  6. Julianne Durand says:

    You brought tears to my eyes , Amanda. Thank you for writing this. It’s your best writing yet and really, really hit home. As you find your way your journey is helping me find mine.

    1. You’ve been SO helpful on this journey that I’m on, Julianne. I can only hope that maybe I can return the favour. Much love. XOXO

  7. DGGYST says:

    Bam!! I don’t even know what to add to this, it’s just brilliant. And your life looks pretty fucking amazing!

    1. Brilliant! I’ll take it!! 😂 And yea… life’s pretty darn good, right?

  8. Jennifer Manuel says:

    I do love reading your blogs. They feel real and raw, and very relatable. I’m reading the Suble Art of Not Giving a F*&** now because of your book review. This post is great too. Loved the TEd talk. And I agree with Scar about having someone real come to talk to students. On one hand it is great to have someone inspiring to come and talk to students about these big dreams they succeeded in by working hard, but also would be nice to have a regular person with a regular job who is happy with their life to share that as well. Emily really wants to go to We day this year, which will be fantastic for her, but again it’s about the people with the BIG passions who are motivating these kids…sometimes it’s those who were bullied and how they overcame that, or others who reached for their dreams and worked super hard to achieve it. It sets kids up that they can do anything…(which they can in many ways) but also ok to know, they can just be them, and that’s ok too.

    1. I agree, Jenn. The “reach for the stars” message to kids is a double sided sword. It’s hard to know how to approach it! Thanks for reading & commenting. I ❤️ your support!!! Xo

  9. kedawithani says:

    “it sounds like indigestion and very uncomfortable, ” lolol… I love this.. you’re right lighting myself on fire with passion almost sounds suicidal…

    1. 😂🔥
      I have MUCH respect for those on fire with passion. Just not my gig? I hate to sweat.
      💁

  10. Miiesche says:

    You are awesome! Couldn’t be helped but yo follow you immediately!

    All the love xx

    1. Awe shucks! I’m flattered! *blushing*

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