Yes. Yes I am a Badass.
I don’t always feel like a badass, but I tend to ALWAYS be blunt. I’m honest to a fault. At least people know where I stand? Please trust me in that I’m a super nice person as well, though described as “intense” by those close to me (and probably those not so close to me! Amiright?). So let me be blunt.
This is a book review of You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. I’ll start with what I wasn’t so keen on…
Nope! (Not My Thang)
Jen is definitely a tough chick who’s coaching and writing voice is in the style of gettin’ in-your-face, tellin’ ya like it is, yellin’ at ya to get off your ass to CHANGE YOUR LIFE and LOVE YOURSELF! The beauty of self-help and self-improvement books is that they all pretty much say the same thing but in different ways. We the readers connect with the authors/books that speak in a voice that vibes with us… Can I just say that I didn’t totally vibe with the tone of ‘You are a Badass’? I am not criticizing the book, though. It has TONS of great information. I just didn’t enjoy ‘listening’ to Jen or reading the book due to its layout. The book has 27 chapters and each chapter has up to 8 “steps” to follow that will improve your life. It felt SUPER choppy with a lot of overlapping information, so also quite repetitive. The beauty of book reviewing, though, is its not YOU it’s ME! I am absolutely positive that there are people out there that would loooooove Jen’s smartassy ways and find this book to be amusing, enjoyable, easy to read and inspiring.
Yup! (Totally My Jam)
Now, onto the things I learned/took away! Because like I said, there was some great info in there! The book is divided into 5 parts: How you got this way, How to embrace your inner badass, How to tap into the motherlode, How to get over your b.s. already, and How to kick some ass.
“Your Brain Is Your Bitch”
How do we understand our pasts better to inform us on how our minds are holding us back from our awesome futures? Jen had some great suggestions in Part 1: How you got this way. She explained the “Ego” which she then dubs the Big Snooze (BS). Our BS feeds on falsehoods from our childhoods and looks for validation externally versus internally (she harps on love thyself throughout each chapter of the book). Jen then refers to our true selves, which is connected to the Source Energy. “Your true self lives in the present (not stuck in your head), totally believes in miracles and is one with the Universe” (p.43)
Jen had a great suggestion for how to tune into our True Selves when our BS is just too loud. Too convincing. Try seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who admires you. I loved this! There are people in my life that think I’m freakin’ awesome. Yea, I know, I don’t get it either. But they really do! These people are pretty dang awesome themselves, so I have to trust that they must have some great reasons for believing in me. The other week when I had a total breakdown due to feeling like I wasn’t a competent person – as a mother, as a partner, as an unemployed social worker… I spoke to my friend Erin on the phone. She came right out and told me that she finds me SUPER inspirational. HUH? ME? Well golly! Erin, if you are reading this (you better be!), thank you SO much for that. What a gift. You probably had no idea how much I need your support and here the universe sent you my way when I needed you the most.
Ok. So put the Big Snooze to rest and tune into my True Self. Got it. Now what? All this inside my brain thinking work is making me dizzy…
We can get STUCK or SPIN OUT OF CONTROL if we are too much in the past or too worried about the future. We have to enjoy our lives NOW, in the present. When you’re dizzy, find your centre! Jen spoke of two great tools to do this – kids and animals. Yup. Totally! Our family includes two huge dogs, two cats, and now a wild baby homosapian added to the mix. Jen reminded me to take note, just breathe, and be in the moment with these magical creatures that surround me daily.
“Kick Some Ass”
I’ve been a social worker for almost fifteen years. Many sessions have been spent helping clients understand their BS better, then joining them in the journey of finding their True Selves. This is all great and dandy… but if they didn’t DO anything differently, nothing changed or improved! If we could THINK ourselves into healthier happier lives, we would all be healthy and happy. Man. We THINK too much as a western culture. A lot of anxiety and depression comes from sitting on our butts THINKING! So get in touch with your True Self, understand your BS better… but now… get off your butt! Jen hits on some great areas of personal work that is action based vs. mind based – just go out there and ROCK IT, be a GIVER, show GRATITUDE, actively FORGIVE, and make LOVE a verb – love yourself and love others as though there is no tomorrow.
One tip for gratitude I took away from this book was her suggestion to say the following to oneself “this is good because… “ and fill in the blank. Sometimes we are able to see things in a different light instantly when we try to identify what may be good about an annoying or inconvenient situation. Othertimes, the good may not be obvious. The good may not present itself for months or years… but just having faith that the outcome is going to be a-okay is soothing, isn’t it? My hubby JW and I had a car situation last week and got stuck in Dartmouth for hours while we waited for friends to bail us out. He was SUPER apologetic, feeling terrible for how badly the day had gone. I genuinely was absolutely content, and told him so, because it was a work day for him – but yet here we got to spend the whole day together as a family! All the set-backs that happened during the day just meant more time I got to be with him. When I shared that with him, I swear I saw him almost melt from pure bliss. God’luv’im – *warm fuzzies*.
Goals from this week:
1x per day for 2 weeks mindfully cuddle one of our pets for 10 minutes.
For 2 weeks when challenged with a situation, say to myself “This is good because…” and fill in the blank.
- I’ll update you all regarding these two goals, as well as my goals from last week, on my Instagram and with a new post Sunday!
So there ya have it! I’M a BADASS! Booyah!
This blog has inspired me to write blog posts regarding my own WELLNESS TOOLBOX and the TOOLS I use on a daily basis – Mindfulness, CBT cycle, Solution Focused therapeutic approach to ‘problems’, Motivational Interviewing/decisional balances, Stages of Change, Communication Styles/Assertive Communication…
SO! Which of these should I cover first? Where shall I begin? Any requests???
NEXT BOOK REVIEW
Next book review will be about Romantic Relationships! The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. This book probably saved my relationship in the early days! Soooo helfpul!
Until next time – Read. Write. Grow.